I’m a positive-reinforcement kind of mom. I believe in modeling good behavior, giving lots of praise, and removing temptations and dangers that might necessitate lots of “no’s.” And Liana has always been a pretty agreeable kind of kid, so my natural style worked pretty well with her from the time she was a baby. I remember at 13 months old, when she would do those little baby slaps when a kid would touch a toy she was playing with, I would take her hand and rub it gently on her intended victim and say “suave, suave,” and she would rub the kid gently and I would praise her. When I was preparing my home for her arrival, I did careful baby-proofing, so that she could safely have the run of the place to explore. When she got a little older, and would get that tragic look on her face and raise her arms to be held and start whining, I would say “No reason to whine! You want a hug? Say ‘big hug!!!’” And “big hug” was one of her first phrases. When she started with the “no’s,” I taught her to say “no thank you.”

And then the 2.x age emerged.

And the number of things that I have to say “NO” about in a given day has increased exponentially.

Of course, there are the safety issues. And as she has gotten so much bigger, my initial baby-proofing has become obsolete. And her increasing dexterity has brought forth a whole new set of temptations. Safety issues are firm “No’s!”

But I never imagined how many non-safety things I would find myself saying “No!” to.

“No! You don’t take the top off your sippy cup and pour the juice on your shirt! You drink your juice, you don’t pour your juice out!”

“No! You don’t take the toilet paper off the roll and toss the entire roll in the toilet!”

“No! You don’t take your soup bowl and pour the soup over your head! Soup is for eating, not for pouring on your head!” (She didn’t do this as a baby! Why is she doing it now?)

“No! You don’t draw with your crayons on the wall. On the coffee table. On the bookshelves. On the TV screen. Paper only. We only draw with crayons on paper. Here, draw on the paper. Good girl!”

“No! You don’t put pasta in the cat’s food dish. He has cat food. He doesn’t want to eat your macaroni and cheese. It is nice to share, but it will make his tummy sick”

“No! You don’t throw mommy’s phone on the floor. You’ll break it, and then mommy won’t have a phone.”

“No! You don’t press the buttons on mommy’s dishwasher.”

“No! You don’t put your dollhouse furniture in mommy’s coffee cup.”

And so on. And so on.

Don’t get me wrong. She’s a good kid. An easy going kid. Most of the time. But she is driven by curiosity and experimentation… and it is that very curiosity and experimentation that leads to so many things to say no about.